As I write this, my husband and daughter are making sweet dream noises to my right. So much has happened in the last two months that I cannot wait for the sunrise to update here. The post would be so long if in prose form, so I will settle for a Cliff’s noted list with pictures down below (so feel free to skip the middl section for the index at the bottom). In order to spare you the need for a long scroll in the future, I promise to (myself) to be more timely in documenting going forward! (This will require a workshop on how to keep a consistent blog!) — please send your suggestions on this to worldorbits@gmail.com.
The LONG Version:
Rewind back to end of August. One day I slipped and fell off a stool at work. Didn’t think much of it except that by the time I got home from clinic (which took me two hours) I could not sit down without a serious amount of right hip pain.
Why do I mention this? Aside feeling embarrassed to be gimpy, it was a wake-up call. I know many women go through their entire pregnancy working until the day they deliver. That was my plan so that I could have the maximum amount of time in maternity leave. My crash off of that vinyl circle onto the cement floor gave me a pain in the rear end, but also the clarity to see what is most important in life. It forced me to focus more on myself (and the physical body I inhabit) and also to re-examine my priorities. I love my job and could not imagine any other career. When I stood up that afternoon, I realized that I cannot put my career ahead of my then unborn child and spending quality time with my family. My family rallied around me in full support. Within days of discovering this new in-ability (couldn’t sit, couldn’t drive, couldn’t sleep), my family drove 9 hours through the night to be with us. I’ll get back to the list form, but this paragraph could not be skipped. I owe my gratitude to my mom, dad, grandpa, my husband and Shukhrat from saving me from my delusion that I could continue without taking a few moments to prepare for becoming a mom.
After that moment, life started moving at a much faster clip. Within a week I met a new midwife team, was admitted to the hospital with an unforseen complication and told that “i must have my daughter on Sunday”. When I came to Pittsburgh for Labor Day holiday, I did not expect it to turn into an actual labor day! I blissfully thought I still had 3+ish weeks to get a car seat, a bassinet, some baby clothes and be sleeping on more than the mattress on the floor. The Universe had other plans for us. In retrospect, it couldn’t have been more perfect, but at the time, when we were driving in for an “induction at 37 weeks”, my mind battled with ideas that this might be my last day. I am sure the intense itching from ICP had something to do with my morbid thoughts. It wasn’t helpful that I hadn’t slept in days from my hip injury either.
A week from labor day, my daughter was born. I didn’t make it to induction either. She was ready to come on her own. As we waited for a birthing suite to open up, my mom and I were squatting and pacing in the waiting room. In retrospect, the burning pain in my right hip was much worse than the every 3 minute contractions I was having. i didn’t become aware of the contractions until the nurse placed me on a monitor. For the first 7 hours i battled with the ramping contractions and spasmy right hip pain while Bryce hypnotized me and my mom held my hand. It wasn’t until i was at the bottom of the shower lying on a shower head to prop up my right hip, that the midwife made a suggestion that I should probably have some pain relief. It’s not that they didn’t offer it every time they checked in on me, but I stubbornly refused pain meds because I wanted to try without an iv or other interventions. I am glad Tanya talked me into accepting an epidural. At 2 am was the first time I was able to blissfully fall asleep after WEEKS of burning hip pain! The epidural was just the right mixture of lidocaine and ropivacaine that i still had 90% sensation in my extremities and full motor. I was able to walk on place (since no one was letting me out of bed) and do sun salutations! I closed my eyes and followed what my body was telling me… And this was to dance and work through asanas to find my center. Once I centered, my daughter came out a bit faster than the midwife predicted much to her surprise. My mom and husband reminded me that when the change of shift came, the new midwife looked at the monitor and said, with the rate of your contractions you will still be pushing for 7 more hours. I looked at her and said i don’t have room here for this negativity, please leave? And then the overnight nurse proceeded to coach me through the pushing steps. After 3 pushes, she told me to stop and hold it. I could not hold and luckily, as the contractions came back, the midwife and pediatricians ran back to my room in time to catch our daughter ~10 minutes later.
The SHORTer version
9/9/19 Antonina born
9/11/19 went home to our house for the first time, my first sushi in 9 months!
Since we’ve been home, we spent 3+ weeks cleaning, unpacking and making the baby space in our bedroom.
Week 3 spent a lot of time on our balcony!
Week 4 Antonina went to her first live jazz concert and loved it! @MusicNightOnJupiter.
Week 5 attended Italian Class at Squirrel Hill branch of the Carnegie Library.
Bryce’s parents visited us after we were off the self imposed quarantine.
Week 6 a bit of a blur
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Week 8 She went to the Phipps, the Carnegie library and her second live concert.
Week 9 started on Monday and will keep you posted!